is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
