I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
