please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Randomize
