Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
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