Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
