Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
