I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
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