dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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