this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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