At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize