if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
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how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
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