dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize