We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Randomize
