I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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