just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
