Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize