i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize