Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
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