Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize
