just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
