bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
