Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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