we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
