Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Drunk is not a location!
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
