yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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