So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
