Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
