this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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