Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
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i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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