she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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