I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
