I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
