Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Randomize
