I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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