i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
