It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
