Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize