Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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