How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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