Tell her she can't have a vagina
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize