Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
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