Midget sex pt 2 tonight
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Randomize
