my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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