girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
NoShamevember. You game?
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
