READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
