Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize