There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
