So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
