I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
