I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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