if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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