yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize