Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
