That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
i think my cat just said my name.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
