the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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