I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
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