Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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