Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
