Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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