she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
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