I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
