I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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