I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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