she looked like the before picture.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
