I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Randomize
